Monday, February 17, 2014

My new addiction: 19 Days sober

I'm guessing this is normal for a recovering alcoholic, but I'm consuming a shit-ton of caffeine now.

Not just a ton.

Not just a TON.

A SHIT-TON of caffeine.

It doesn't really affect me the way it does some people. I don't get all whipped up and start running laps around the block. I don't get shaky or wired (although my lithium makes my hands shake like a late-stage Parkinson's patient). It doesn't keep me awake at night, although I may have my sleeping meds to thank for that.

What it does give me is something to drink that isn't beer. I love water, don't get me wrong. And juice, yay for juice. But lately, those just aren't doing it for me.

The primary culprits are Coke and coffee, but I'm also partial to Monster coffee drinks. I literally drove to the store three times today to buy pop because on my previous trips, I just didn't buy enough to get me through the day. Which is to say I didn't buy a keg full of Coke.

(Remind me to make an appointment with a dentist, will ya?)

I know that soda and coffee aren't exceptionally healthy for me, but they're better than the other options:

The photo above is about four weeks' worth of bottles, not including any I had stashed in my bedroom. The first pile of bottles was hauled away before the holidays, and it was just as big. I should mention that the people I live with don't really drink, so that was ALL me.

And it seemed normal at the time.

The difference now is that it no longer seems normal, and I never want that life again.