Saturday, October 03, 2009


It's been a whole year today.

Wow. Hard to believe.

But it's been a good year, mostly. And Gray and I are going strong, which is more than enough to keep me happy. So even though I still wonder what might have been, I'm also finally okay with what is. And that's really all I could ask for.


  1. And you never will. You just learn to live with it and in spite of it. It's been 11 years for us and every once in a while "what might have been" pays us a little visit.

  2. Having had two pregnancies go wrong before I finally was blessed with Vlad, I still think about "what might have been" every once in awhile, (even though it's been 24 years.) My thoughts are with you. Be kind to yourself today.

  3. Your OK cat. Long may you both be happy.

  4. I will never forget how I felt knowing I was your mommy.

    I know you won't. It's okay to feel, even if it hurts like hell. It won't really go away, BUT eventually you will stop looking over your shoulder for it...I know this.


  5. None of us will ever forget but we will all move forward and look forward to the day that we hold Gaige's little brother and sister in our arms and have a tiny glimpse of what he may have been and of who he may have been.
    Every day I look at Matthew and know that looking at him I see glimpses of Michael. That's all I need.
    Love you and J!!

  6. I think what might have been will always be a part of you. I wonder too... all the time. What would life be like now. But, there's nothing to do but focus on the present and future. And it's great that you can say that you and Gray are still going strong, bumps in the road and all.

  7. I'm glad you're in a good place mentally. That shit is HARD but you're a strong, kick ass girl.

    BTW, weren't you headed to FL this weekend? Where are you?

  8. Sorry for your loss. Mine was over 15 years ago and it sometimes still haunts me. Big hugs.


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