Sunday, April 26, 2009

Stroking the Shift Key

For Lacey's sake, I'm going to attempt a Capitalization Reinstatement Policy around here, which I hope you all appreciate because 1) I'm totally used to typing with my right hand in the middle of the keyboard, and 2) my left hand doesn't...twist the way you need it to twist for typing comfortably, so this means I'm typing with my left elbow basically sitting in my lap so my left hand is positioned over ASDF, and frankly, I keep whapping my pubic bone (which SMU Kid likes to call the "vagina bone")((everything's better with "vagina" in the title)) and NOT in the good way.

This is day two that I've gone without wearing my splint (except when I sleep) because as much as I want to baby it (and avoid the jolts of pain which shoot up and down my arm when I forget to baby it), I want my normal life back even more, and that means sucking it up and using the damn thing, and so far, there have only been a few times that I've had to drop what I was holding, bend at the waist so as not to pass out, and pant like a dog.

I've noticed that the pain, while intense (think: doing the splits accidentally and ALL OF THE WAY), lets up immediately when I stop doing whatever it was that overextended the wrist or thumb, so that's great because it means I know I'm not injuring myself, just pushing the limits of my dexterity. It also means I can continue going splint-free without worrying that my hand will fall off whilst pulling up my pants. I hope that resuming normal hand-related activities, such as opening doors, shampooing my hair, and doing keg stands, will help speed along the recovery, and if nothing else, it will stop the incessant, "How bad does the other guy look? Har-de-har-har" bad jokes I get every.fucking.place.I.go.

Anyway, Gray and I worked a brief shift at the Minnesota Horse Expo last night, handing out calendars and free admission passes to our place of employment which shall remain nameless (for their protection, of course). The experience was a whole hell of a lot more fun than we anticipated when we initially signed up for the Saturday night gig (and by "signed up", I mean I told Gray that he had no choice but to accompany me after I'd been semi-guilted into it myself). I thought it would be interesting, and I love to watch horses (and people stepping in horse shit by accident), but I'm not generally the biggest fan of talking to people - strange people - and that was the entirety of our duties at the expo, so I was surprised when I really enjoyed the evening, which was aided in part by the fact that Gray wore his cowboy hat, which...let's just say is always entertaining.

Perhaps the most important things I learned were, surprisingly, fashion-related. For example, did you know that mullets are NOT out of style, that they have, in fact, rotated all the way from "eighties rad" to "white trash" to "lesbians only" and back to "tres chic" again? I know, it's really great news for most of the people I grew up with, as well as the GLBT community in the Twin Cities, which now that we're moving to Minneapolis, I like to think I'll be a part of. Except for the gay thing.

Also, the very HEIGHT of fashion these days is the western trench coat. NOT JUST FOR HIGH SCHOOL SHOOTERS ANYMORE. they are so totally "mass-murderer-meets-Brokeback Mountain" and everyone was wearing them last night. Check it out, don't you just want one? I'm going to search Amazon.com for a gold one. They must be ultra-practical, too, if the mud trompin', hay flingin', chew spittin' horsemen are all wearing them. Those folks don't generally go for form over function. I'm sure there's even a pocket for your shotgun.

And now my wrist is crying "uncle", so I'll leave you with some things that happened this week that I really should blog about, but that I'm too lazy to blog about right now, and may not really be as funny as I think they are anyway (kind of like this post):
  1. Got a text from my ex-husband, and then he sent a topless picture of himself (no, that one really was funny).
  2. Gray got pulled over on our way from visiting our new house (and our new landlady), had to take a field sobriety test at 1 a.m., and I had to make small talk with the other cop while watching this all happen in front of the car.
  3. I've gone to war with the health care system. Again.

Here's hoping I'm more entertaining next week.