I Am the One Who...

...is never wrong except when it comes to what is always right, like the tone of my voice when I correct your grammar, again, for the love of god why can't I stop saying, "You mean 'aren't,'" because who the hell cares that you are the one who will notice if I change the channel, but never if your plurality is incorrect, which it often is when it comes to what is always my job, like staying on top of the laundry so you don't end up wearing those awful Simpsons' boxers, again, even though you will never notice if your socks are full of holes, but I will always point out when your verb tenses don't agree with the color of your belt and you will always be the guy who tries to get me to be the girl who can leave the laundry until later because it ain't that important, are they?