Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I'm Not Sure He Knows How To Use It. The Lipstick, That Is.

Where were we?

Oh yes, that's right: this is the part where I WRITE SOMETHING already.

What is it about hot weather? Yesterday was 96 and humid. I bought a plastic kiddy pool "for my dog" and sat with my feet in the pool until Gray got home from work and I considered that a productive evening. I guess by "productive" I'm including "didn't get heat stroke" as a qualifying accomplishment. Also on the list were "sample new box of pinot grigio", "pick up dog shit with plastic bag-covered hand", and "get Gray to eat kale again". No wonder I was exhausted!

Poor old Bampa bear is a hot mess because he has so much fur. He has almost as much fur as he has aversion to the kiddy pool I set up and filled for him. At first I thought he was going to love it because A) my previous dogs loved it and B) after I unfolded it from the backseat/trunk of my car and left it on the deck, I came back outside and Bampa was standing in what would have been knee-deep water had there actually been water, which clearly implied his intent to love it.

I dragged it out to the yard and filled it up (with much sprinkler detaching and fence-climbing)((in a skirt))(((in front of the impressionable neighbor boy))) and Bampa promptly ignored it. Not only did Bampa ignore the pool, but he ACTIVELY ignored the pool, which is to say that each time I tried to draw his attention to the Nice! Cold! Water! he looked very pointedly in the other direction, an urgent sniffing matter having caught his attention.

I put MY feet in the pool and cried, "Ooooh! Nice and cold! Come on, dog who doesn't speak English, understand my words and enter the pool of bliss with my feet!" to which he replied by walking over to the back door and staring intensely at the handle, obviously trying to will himself into the house with nothing but his hefty aversion to Being Wet.

Then I dragged him over the to pool and put his front paws into the water, assuming that his back paws would have to follow suit (right? RIGHT?) to which he responded by literally leaping backward with the force of Tigger on crack, and I was left standing over the pool with two fist fulls of fur and a bewildered expression.

On a mostly unrelated note, Bampa has a giant lipstick. Which...maybe now I'm glad he wasn't in there with my feet after all.