Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Goin' to the Chapel

Saturday we attended the wedding of our friends Dawne and Justin. FINALLY. It seems like they've been planning this thing for decades! Anyhow, it was a beautiful ceremony (mostly because it was closer to 45 minutes than to an hour) and the bride was radiant (possibly from the copious amounts of Dayquil she was taking to counteract the infection) and the reception was very lovely (thanks to the killer turkey feast). I am so happy for these two kids and hope their marriage outlasts my first marriage by at least 6 months!

This was the first wedding that Gray and I have attended together and it was unexpectedly delightful to have him along. In case you haven't gathered this information for your own self yet, Gray is not your typical, standard issue specimen of the male species. He's...evolved, shall we say. Or you might say he's a nerd (MY NERD), and you'd be right about that too. In any case, Gray is unlike most men in that he is sensitive and selfless and goes with me to do girlie things because they make me happy, even if he'd rather not go. He doesn't get jealous EVER and is friends with almost all of his ex-girlfriends. He likes to hang out with his mother and likes to spoil me rotten, no strings attached. He is very much like most men in that he doesn't want anyone to know. (It's getting harder and harder for him to keep up the tough guy persona the longer he keeps taking the book on pregnancy and childbirth to work - voluntarily - to read on his breaks. Also, I'm having to beat a lot of women off with a club but I don't mind. Apparently the sight of an involved father is a huge turn-on.) One day, he will hopefully realize that being wonderful is nothing to be ashamed of, and he can be an example for all the other men in the world. Hey, look at Gray! He's not an asshole and yet - shock and awe - he's also not gay!

Anyhow, during the wedding we held hands and grinned and exchanged loaded glances at one another. He paid close enough attention to the ceremony to notice one part of the vows that he wanted to discuss with me later in the day. He made small-talk with my friends Mark and Pete who rode with us to the blessed event, and he tasted the punch to make sure it wasn't spiked before he gave it to me. What surprised me the most, though, were the comments he made all night long: "At our wedding, we should _____!", and "What do you think about ___for our wedding?" I'm not sure what I was expecting - perhaps the stereotypical man pouting in the corner waiting for the torture to end while getting hammered on the free beer scenario - but he definitely surprised me. A man who is even fun at wedding...who knew? It was like Christmas!

Dawne and Justin's wedding featured country music. We're not big (or little) fans of country music, but Gray enthusiastically suggested that we play heavy metal at our reception. Under threat of veto, he quickly elaborated that he would find songs that were "acceptable" from our heavy metal bands and would intersperse them throughout the night. He was even suggesting songs for our first dance together. It was almost too cute and I nearly broke down and ate his face right off. It was so surprising, in fact, that I felt compelled to ruin the joy just a little bit by saying things like, "You have no concept of how expensive that is going to be." What a killjoy!

One other important revelation from the wedding on Saturday: With regards to panty hose, the literal translation of control top, from Latin, is "what you're trying to control just comes out of the top". I had serious set of quadruple boobs going on, thanks to the hose that went up over my navel.

Congratulations Dawne and Justin! I hope you get a lot of use out of that strap-on we got you! It will come in handy when you come to our heavy metal orgy wedding. But don't worry! Gray will totally cry during the ceremony.