Friday, November 28, 2008

Friday, With Stories

Morning everybody. Well, morning to those of you who broke free of the turkey coma long enough to check up on blogs. Probably not many of you. I am HOPELESSLY behind on my blog reading, and I feel really badly about that. Not enough to actually sit down and read them all, but badly just the same. I made the mistake of adding too many blogs to my daily reading list, and now you guys just keep posting and posting and posting and I feel like I'm running (a very funny) marathon just keeping current. I promise to catch up someday, probably in December when I'm too excited about Santa's arrival to get any actual work done. Or Monday, when I'm likely too tired to get any work done.

Today, my mother has planned a Half Birthday party for our little niece, who's about 18 months. We're going to Chuck E Cheese. I know, you're super jealous. That place gives me a giant case of the creeps. I don't know if it's because of the hoards of snotty noses, the germ pit AKA the ball pit, or the really bad pizza. If I had to guess, I'd say the main reason are those mechanical robot characters that play the little concerts, and then slide back behind the curtain and fall still. I made the mistake of peeking behind that curtain once, and I've never gotten over it. The robots, they just stand there, heads resting on their chests, wires poking out their asses, like some kind of spooky zombie army, waiting the allotted time before reappearing and trying to smile with their robot mouths, playing (badly) some creepy children's music. I know more kids who are petrified of that robot show than kids who enjoy it.

Do they come alive after dark, when the place closes and all the little kids are presumably gone? Do they stomp around searching for stray human spawn to snack on? I bet they'd find one or more stuck down beneath the plastic balls in the pit. I can see them pulling an unsuspecting toddler out by his ankle, eyeing him over for ripeness, and chomping him to death with their big robotic mouths. Then maybe they head next door to the mall and try on prom dresses at Macy's and watch R-rated movies in the deserted theatre, hoping for full-frontal nudity, or at least a boob shot.

I might have to investigate this theory while I'm there. My choices are to stay the night at Chuck E Cheese and prove or disprove the theory that those robots are alive and hungry for human flesh....or to stay the night at my mother's house. I think I'll take my chances with the robots. But don't worry, I'll keep my little brother with me to use as bait. You know, just in case they move faster than I imagine.