Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Burning Rubber Would Be So Warm

Am. Totally. Frozen. Fingers. Burning. Have some random scratch that's bleeding, and didn't feel it happen at all. Numb from the frost bite, no doubt.

Just walked home about a mile. Why, you ask? Well, because I'm an awesome girlfriend, that's why. I dropped Gray's truck off at Tires Plus for a serious rubber upgrade (ok, well the tires are kinda cheap, but hey - they're tires). He's been driving around on these bald-ass tires FOREVER. We're talking, smoother than a baby's ass, bald-ass tires. I'm afraid to even ride around in that death trap, and every time he's 5 second late getting home from work, I'm like, "OH MY GOD HE'S DEAD. HE DIED IN A CRASH BECAUSE HIS TIRES ARE BALD." He replaced the front-right tire a couple months ago because he had no choice - it popped and was beyond repair. The other three? He was waiting until he gets some extra money for those. Like he stumbles around into $500 all the time or something.

Anyway, this is an early Christmas present to him because A) It's getting snowy and icy here, and B) If he's going to die, it will not be due to his tires, god dammit! It will be from the strain of living with me. As my Jill once said, "I am the only bitch that gets to hurt him!" So, new tires. And they're filling them with nitrogen, which supposedly does something awesome. Something about the pressure not being affected by the temperature. And I got him an oil change (even sprung for a filter ya'll). And new wiper blades, because Q-tips would do a better job than the ones on there now (even sprung for the fancy blades, whatever that means). Finally, I'm having them re-install the spare tire down below, where it belongs. He can only drive around with the spare in the bed of his truck for so long before someone decides they want it. We are in a recession, after all.

At work today, I told him my car was making funny noises. Then I realized I'd have to elaborate, so I said that a wheel feels loose (does that make noise?) so I needed him to drive it home and see how it feels to him. That's the only way I could figure to throw him off the trail. The trail he isn't even looking for. Suffice it to say, he will be surprised. SO NOBODY TELL HIM OKAY? Of course, he's so far behind reading this blog that he probably won't get to this post until February, and if he hasn't figured it out by then someone really ought to tell him about the new tires. Credit where credit is due, and all that.

So how awesome am I? I know, I know. You all wish you could date me. Well, too late. I'm spoken for (unless I don't get a camera for Christmas, in which case I'll be back on the market. A camera or a ring, and it had better be a damn big ring to make up for it not being a camera).