Saturday, December 20, 2008

Rocky Rocky Pock-Markey

I'm totally blaming hormones for the ups and downs of my weekend. I say "my weekend" like it's in the books, but really it's 5:30 on Saturday night, which means my weekend isn't even half way over yet, and already I've been acting like a crazy person. I've gone from laughing and drunk...right on down the line to sad, crying, depressed...headed on over to reckless abandon and self-indulgence...and ended up where I am now, which is general laziness, inability to concentrate, and desire to watch P.S. I love you (so I can just have a good old cry, god dammit, and get over myself already).

Last night, we headed down to have an early Christmas celebration with my Jill. She did the whole holiday dinner, turkey and all, and we ate like cows and drank like fish and behaved like primates - we basically had ourselves a Zoo of a time. I was really looking forward to it because since Gray and I moved out of town, we only see the "old crew" once every four or six weeks.

Aw. Now isn't that the cutest damn thing you've ever seen?

My Jill and I, we both have what you might consider a "problem" with taking pictures. You know those people who walk around with the little cell phone ear pieces on their head? Because they're on their cell phone every minute of the day? If there was something like that for cameras, head gear that would keep our camera's strapped at eye-level, we'd both totally buy those.

She's saving up for an elective surgery next spring to have the camera detached from her hand. She loves it, but it's really hard to take a bath in her condition.


Yeah, I've got it too. In this picture, it looks like I'm focusing on lining up a shot. What I'm really doing is trying to murder my crappy, broken camera with my laser eyeballs. It's the best super power ever.

On the way home last night - I don't know, possibly because of all the beer - I started getting all weepy and mopey and woe is me-y. It was really obnoxious. Total first-world problems I've got going on. Lost my first pregnancy. Boo hoo! I never seem to make a dent in my credit card balances. Soooo sad! I'm just so tired of the backne. Grow a pair! I woke up feeling equally as mopey, but for less specific reasons. I get really pissed with myself when I'm like this, because who the hell goes around bursting into tears for NO.REASON.WHATSOEVER. Seriously, what the hell is with that? People cry for reasons, Catherine. Not just for fun, or to kill time, or because your shoes weren't where you left them.

Gray and I went to buy his mother's Christmas gifts - anytime you shop with Gray it involves going to Best Buy - and I ended up going TOTALLY BATSHIT CRAZY and buying myself 3 CDs - The Smiths, The Postal Service, and the soundtrack from Once - and 3 DVDs - Jerry Seinfeld stand up, Superbad, and Lars & the Real Girl. I must have lost my mind in there or something, or the hangover totally negated my physical inability to buy something frivolous for myself without feeling MAJOR guilt and possibly returning it two hours later so I can sleep that night. I can't even remember the last time I bought a CD for myself - I literally have no idea when it was or what band it might have been. But I figured, for my sanity, that I'd better do something to pull my ass out of the funk I was in (how better to do that than listening to angsty alternative music?). My dad sent me a check for Christmas - usually I just deposit that check and use it to pay bills, but this time I figured I'd go ahead and actually buy myself something I wanted instead.

And it feels so good to be bad. I'm still on a high from the exhilaration of handing over my Visa for the purpose of dropping $100 on music. FOR MYSELF. This must be how arsonists feel.

So I've spent the entire balance of the day farting around on the computer, wrapping presents, ripping my new CDs to iTunes, and posting photos from last night. I've thought about starting to read my new Stephen King book - THANK YOU JILL OMG I'M SO EXCITED I FEEL LIKE PRINCESS DI WITH ALL MY NEW STUFF - but that would have required concentrating on words, pages and pages of words, and I decided that I'd rather save that for tomorrow. I opened a beer instead. Tomorrow Gray will be at work, and he did all the laundry yesterday, AND he cleaned the apartment for me, so tomorrow I can lay around and read the new SK and listen to my new music.

So I think it's really obvious now why I'm so weepy today. I'm spoiled fucking rotten and because I'm rotten, I smell so bad that my eyes are watering. Sucks to be me, huh? GAWD.