My laptop FINALLY arrived last night. I named it Landers, and I made out with it and gave it a makeover. Then I did what any self-respecting woman would do, and I watched 200 versions of "Single Ladies" on YouTube until it was more than 2 hours past my sleepy time. And then I dreamed about Beyonce's thighs. And a little bit about that gay guy in the leotard.
This week, Myshka opened my eyes to the wonders that are European condom commercials. I thought to myself, "NOW I can die happy, with Landers in my lap and smut at my fingertips."
And then I saw this commercial, which just proves there is a god:
I'm so glad Jesus set me free...to sing about fucking you in the asshole for all eternity. This is the best week ever.