Hi! Hello. Yes, remember me? I used to post, like, all the time and stuff? And if you think really hard, you might recall I used to do shit like comment on YOUR blog. I promise that even though I haven't been marking my cyber territory much lately, I'm still reading one of your posts every week. Honest!
I'm loving the Google Reader, except for the fact that I still have to click through to another page if I want to leave a comment on your blog, and frankly, I'm getting so spoiled by this laptop that I'm only a few months away from expecting everything to happen for me automatically, without any type of physical or mental exertion.
Gotta pee. Done!
Want some bacon. Mmmmm!
Leave a comment on the post about fisting. Didn't have to click through to another page!
I know it's asking a lot, but I'm kind of a whiny bitch like that.
Gray took me out to dinner and a movie tonight. We saw The Wrestler and it was awesome. Seriously. Go see this movie. And if it turns out that you hate it, blame Obama.
Afterwards, we stopped into the bookstore. I wanted to buy everything on the damn tables because I'm a total sucker for book covers. You can go ahead and add "totally judges books by their covers" to my list of reasons I'm going to hell.
Bright and shiny yellow with an embossed ducky? SOLD!
Foggy looking landscape with scraggly trees and drippy font? Hook me up, yo!
Anything with Dr. Phil's face? Would rather do an at-home circumcision. On myself.
But what I really needed was a new copy of Jane Eyre for my women writers class. Sure, I have a textbook anthology which includes all the Charlotte Bronte novels, but it's so BIG. It's unwieldy. I like to read in bed and be comfortable, and that requires one-handed reading. The textbook is too heavy for one-handed reading, it requires two-handed knee-balancing maneuvers. It's just too much work.
Also? I love Jane Eyre. I've read it several times before, many years ago. So many years ago that when I pinched together all 300 pages of the story in my text, I looked at the thickness of pages and declared, "Jane Eyre was never this long before!" So I figured if I went and bought a paperback copy of the book, it would kind of...be smaller. Fewer pages. Less work. Just like I remembered it.
There were two copies of Jane Eyre available at the bookstore, and the smaller of the two has about 450 pages. Because, of course, the textbook pages hold more words than the little paperback pages.
Apparently, willing a classic novel to "be fewer pages" doesn't work. I have got to figure out a way to add Jane Eyre to my Google Reader.
I somehow expect spellcheck to pop up and correct words when I am writing with a PEN AND PAPER. That's right, I have come to depend on spellcheck so much that when I am scrawling something I actually have caught myself checking for the little red line.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read Jane Eyre in years. I wonder if I still have a copy of it. There are still a half dozen boxes of books I haven't unpacked. We've only lived in this house for seven months...
Nobody...I mean NOBODY reads the Bronte sisters.
ReplyDeleteGet yourself some Flannery O'Connor and dig deep into some serious southern gothic.
You'll like it. Trust me. And, when you mention "Wise Blood" in class you'll appear to be Super Cool.
Also...if you only use one hand to read...well, it sort of begs the question, eh?
OH Cat you are laugh out loud funny, as always.'Marking your territory', that just killed me right off the bat, and then your laptop.....HA!
ReplyDeleteI used to enjoy a big chunky paperback novel especially if I really loved the story and I never wanted it to end.
:)
I'm glad you got to get out to a movie but sorry you're too lazy to click through to comment. I just did, you're welcome.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...it's not google reader, but it's something: http://www.bronte.netfury.co.uk/jane-eyre/
ReplyDeleteStop being lazy and start commenting. We miss you!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but the circumcision (sp?) comment led my brain down a certain path and now I'm wondering....what is your free hand doing when you're reading in bed?
ReplyDeleteNose picking?
Two handed reading is too much work?
ReplyDeleteI had to read Jane Eyre for a British Women's Literature class. I wasn't looking forward to it until I read it and I couldn't put it down! I loved it! I just hated having to stop and write critical analyses on it.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes I miss you too. By the way, that big eyed mammal on my post....really, I mean, REALLY freaked me out. My head smashed back into my chair as far as it could go to get away from the horrifying stare. Jesus Christ. I'm usually not freaked out by anything....but damn.
Ha! You mean she's not already on the Google Reader thing? So behind the times...
ReplyDeleteI love the smell of new books. Doesn't matter how badly written they are. I love them because they smell good. I try to avoid Barnes and Noble because if I go in I will walk out with the dumbest stuff.
ReplyDeletethe post about fisting. Best post to read ever. I died laughing!
ReplyDeleteglad you posted.
I love Jane Eyre too. (And Flannery O'Connor. It is possible to read both :)
ReplyDeleteDr Phil is Satan
ReplyDeleteDid you honestly just take a break to pee and tell us about it? I love you. That is akin to peeing while on the phone. I do that all the time.
ReplyDeleteI love bookstores!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the book. :o)
TAG! You're it! (25 Things About Me)
ReplyDeleteHey, you! I DO remember you!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, LOL on the book covers thing. I'm such a sucker for good marketing. In my defense, I always read the jacket and then the first few pages. If I'm sucked in, I'll buy it.
And um... I'm with you on Dr. Phil. Who buys those?
I think I have a few copies of Jane Eyre somewhere around here. I love it, but haven't read it in years. It's long though, no matter how you cut the pages up.
I totally hear you on that knee-maneuvering thing, I need to be in bed, with no hands when I read. Holding the book, argh, how bothersome.
ReplyDeleteMichael.
By the way - its okay about commenting. I know you're there. Commenting on everything I love to read would be a freaking full time job! I read a post recently where someone was bitching and moaning about how rude it is for people to read but not comment. Get over it, I say. I can look at my stats and see how many people are reading my blog. I'm thankful that those busy people take the time to come by and enjoy my spot on the net for a few minutes, ya know? Comments are just icing. If you want fans, write a real book and sign autographs. So there.
ReplyDeleteI also love book covers and totally have found myself not buying one because I didn't like the cover, which is so wrong. Whatevs.
ReplyDeleteSo why do you need one hand free in bed while reading? Is it why I think it is? Cause if so, you got skillz girl--I could never do THAT and read at the same time!
I read Janye Eyre when I was a kid and it scared the freaking bejesus out of me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just wanted to say freaking bejesus.
Hugs
Anna xxx
Way to create a full circle in this post. Truly well done. This is why I love ya.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're still around too. I have been skimming a lot of posts in my reader, but today am forcing myself to go past it and actually post comments and stuff.
ReplyDeleteI soooo have bought far too many books based soley on the cover. It's really the only way to go.