Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Third Person Confuses Me

So I'm considering submitting a couple of pieces of prose to my university's arts & literature magazine. Only problem? I have to write a bio for myself in the 3rd person. Not so easy, I can assure you. My blog bio is not entirely appropriate in this situation. The editor asked me to refrain from saying "fuck", "exsanguinate", "masturbate", or "anal leakage" - which...he might as well kill my spirit already and be done with it.

I will blow* anyone who writes a 150 word (or less) bio for me.

And I don't mean figuratively blow, I will literally blow you. *

Here is a link to the fall 2008 edition of the Inter-rag, go check out the bios if you are so inclined. There's a dude on there named "Rimmer", and I would totally blow** him.

Please help.

*Ok, fine - I can't actually blow you, but I will blow ON you. I've got a sterling reputation to maintain folks. I can't just go around blowing Internet strangers. Anymore.

**Sorry Gray, but it's true. You can totally watch.