Monday, March 02, 2009

Was It Worth Eating Dust Bunnies?

Okay, first of all: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH BLOGGER TODAY? My sidebar is gone, then it's there, then it's gone, then my page won't load, then my followers are gone, then they are back, then they're gone...Get your shit together Blogger! Or at least post a "Hey, we know your site is jacked up, don't worry, we won't lose all of your posts, we promise, don't panic" message so I can stop freaking out.

Whew, I feel better now.

No, no I really don't. But I just took a shot (4 shots) of Absolut, so I'm concentrating on the burning in my throat rather than the burning of my chapped ass, so I'll move on to my Month of No Spending Wrap Up.

How did I do?

Well, overall I did a pretty kick-ass job of sticking to my So Restrictive I've Lost Circulation To My Wallet budget. I did not buy anything that wasn't 100% necessary to my survival, EXCEPT:
  • $6.38 for Subway dinner on my way to class last Monday
  • $7.95 for McDonald's (Gray's dinner) on my way home the same night (I know, it was a weak day)((suck it))
  • $20.00 for Taco Loco lunch on Saturday

Clearly, food (not liquor)((or strippers)) is my weakness when it comes to sticking to a budget. I am not at all surprised, since my all of my pants are dangerously close to choking me to death - can you say camel toe? - and the facet that I'm still wearing the same clothes I bought at Good Will in 1997. Fashion is not my monetary downfall, and if anyone would like to nominate me for What Not To Wear, I'll supply the secret footage.

During the Month of No Spending, I started using this killer website called Mint.com that tracks all of my credit cards and bank accounts, tracks my budget levels, and sends me email alerts if I go over budget. I am loving this website. I wish I could freaking remember who told me about it. I'm pretty sure it was Allison over at Tales from Lala Land, but I couldn't find the damn post where she talks about it.

The only problem with Mint.com is that the monthly trends aren't completely accurate because, say, expenditures made at the end of January post to February's budget (because the charges post to my bank account after month-end), and that skews my budget totals for both months. I sent an email to the Mint.com help center to ask if there is a way to change my account settings and resolve this issue. I might just put a shopping ban on the last 5 days of each month. Because I'm that obsessed with budgeting now. It's my depression kicking my OCD into high gear. I'm not always like this. SHUT UP, no I'm not. Fine, I know I am.

Anyway, now that I've talked your damn ear off, my total savings for the month of February was: $498.00. That's right, FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY-EIGHT FUCKING DOLLARS. Pretty amazing, considering that February is the shortest month of the year, and taking into account the fact that I cheated three times.

I learned some neat tricks like "eating the food that's already in my kitchen cupboards" and "crying myself to sleep is so much more rewarding when I'm sober" and "make a shopping list instead of wandering up and down every single aisle at the store you stupid ho". Who fucking knew, right?

I hereby declare my little experiment a HUGE success, and I'm going to take all my extra money and buy street drugs now. Just kidding, every last penny went to paying of the fucking whore's over at Allina Healthcare.

I hope you're happy, you god damned facist baby-killers.