Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Longfellow Deeds

Please come tour our new place, and then send us gifts and shit.

We call it Longfellow Deeds because we're a couple of short bus graduates with degrees is dumbassedness and tomfoolery, and we name inanimate objects, as well as make up our own words for tracking time, like "two grapes ago" and "three grapes from now". Also, remember that part in Mr. Deeds where the sneaky guy stabs the black foot with the fireplace poker? Yeah, this house has a fireplace. So it all works together like Billy Ray and mullets and pimping your daughter. See what I mean?

We don't technically move in until the end of the month, but we have keys now, so therefore the possibility exists that we might accidentally burn it down, so therefore our landlord should consider us a liability, which means we technically live there now. Maybe I should put out a flier warning the neighbors, too.

Although, I've been drunk in this house before - drunk with pockets full of lighters - and didn't burn it down then, so we're probably ok. No need to worry. And I have a renter's policy in case anything should happen, although it only covers the loss of my shit, so you might want to make sure your home owner's is current.

I'm just sayin'.

15 comments:

  1. Congratulations!!! Definitely warn the neighbors, it would be polite.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very nice!!! Enjoy your new digs!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's beautiful! How exciting!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. congrats on movin' on up! that's a sweet patio you have there, just in time to enjoy summer drunkenness outside.

    ReplyDelete
  5. why did you have pockets full of lighters?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dude! You have three bathrooms! Heaven.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There's like fifty bathrooms!
    Also, it's totally the same color as my house. How sweet of you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow....i also have some nice pix without any shit in the house!
    and, real toilet paper!

    ReplyDelete
  9. "drunk with pockets full of lighters"

    Good song title.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That place is beautiful, congrats! Any house with an automatic ice/water thingy on the fridge is ok by me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I never carry lighters when I'm drunk.
    Ok, so I never carry them at all.
    I'm just not safe, sober or drunk.

    Congrats on the house!
    It's beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Someone totally left the seat up! Just saying. It wasn't me. I have only been in there once. And I only took pictures of you. And the wine cellar. But thats it. I promise. *fingers crossed*

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's GORGEOUS, Cat! I LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I prefer to call it tonguefoolery.

    Congrats on the new digs though. Trust they told you about that Indian burial ground and all.

    ReplyDelete

You.Yeah, you. Speak the fuck up.