Thursday, August 27, 2009

Fun With Feathers (no, not THAT way, you sick freaks) Giveaway

My first Blogiversary is coming up on September 4th.

That's right, I've made it one whole entire fucking year. THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS, YO! and I'd like to apologize to all my faithful readers for subjecting you to the horror that is Zipbag of Bones.

All of those names that I've called you? All the vicious rumors I've started about you (wait, I don't think I told you about those. never mind.)? All the offensive remarks that I made about your mothers and your penises? I am SO sorry.

But really, no I'm not. Dumbasses.

In honor of this ridiculously unlikely occasion, the occasion of me actually following through with something, I'd like to send one lucky Zipbag of Bones reader a very special AUTOGRAPHED, first edition publication.

It's a book called Rosie Red Bottom (A Comedian With Feathers), and it debuted in July to rave reviews! This book, written by my very own Aunt, Donna Mann, is about the adventures of an African Grey Parrot named Rosie who perches with her human family in Wasilla, AK (yes, she CAN see Russia from there), and includes tips, tricks, resources and strategies for anyone considering adding a bird to their household.

Aunt Donna really encouraged my writing habit when I was a kid, helped me copy my stories, type cover letters, find publishers, and send my brain-spew far and wide - a very exciting endeavor for a ten-year-old literature junkie. She also busted me looking at my first Playboy.

And now she has an actual book (and a blog!) of her own, with pages and chapters and a cover and EVERYTHING, and I'm very proud to have a published writer in the family.

I know the subject matter of Rosie Red Bottom is just slightly a-typical for this website (you're usually more likely to find inter species porn banter than inter species co-habitation manuals) but I figured what better way to celebrate my first year of successfully disturbing and offending the Interweb than to give away an actual book!

So to anyone in the U.S. or Canada (I guess I think I'm made of money)((or maybe I'm drunk)), there are two ways to enter this awesome giveaway:
  1. Leave a comment on this post between now and Friday, September 4th at 12:00 p.m. noon Minnesota (aka Lutheran) time.
  2. Tweet this contest and tag with #RedBottom between now and Friday, September 4th at 12:00 p.m. noon Minnesota (hot dish) time. YOUR TWEET MUST BE TAGGED!

You can have up to two entries in the giveaway, one for each entry type, but if you leave two comments, it will count as just one entry, and if you tag two tweets, it will count as just one entry. I'll delete duplicates because I'm an evil bitch like that.

I'll use randomizer.org to pick a winner after the deadline! And then I'll taunt the rest of you losers, unless you want to nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize for all the good humanitarian work I'm doing here at Zipbag of Bones, or a Lifetime Achievement Award for all of the bottles of wine I'm single-handedly consumed, in which case I'll draw a second place, phallic-shaped trophy and fax it over to you.

Because I'm a giver.

BON CHANCE, TOUT LE MONDE!

17 comments:

  1. I'll be saying "rosie red bottom" over and over again all day now. Kinky.

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  2. My birthday is the 5th. Will the randomizer pick up on that? Do ya think?

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  3. Congrats to your Aunt...I mean, you! For your blog...eh...
    Just sign me up for the damn contest.

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  4. You truly are my idol! I heart porn too!

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  5. My new gay priest said I should leave a comment, so hear it is. Then he asked me out. We're going shopping, woohoo!

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  6. I'll leave a comment but I won't tweet because I'm a bitch like that. Congrats on 1 whole year of posting. That Nobel Peace Prize thing? I'll nominate you. Doubt if it will get you anywhere but hey, I'm giving like that.

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  7. Yay for blogiversaries. Mine is next week too!

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  8. Hmmmph. Not posting overseas? Sniffle.

    Also, I win. It's my 2 year blogoversary today. TODAY. Two years. *shakes head*

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  9. Congratulations on your one year anniversary! I LOVE your writing. Your blog is like crack and I am happy to be hooked.

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  10. i went & checked the blog out.. love it... & congrats on keeping the blog going this long.. its my daily fix with morning coffee.. great job...

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  11. I want you to know that this morning I was laying in bed, relishing in my Saturday morning "sleep-in time," and it dawned on me that because your blog starts with Z, and is therefore the last blog on my blog roll, I haven't gotten to your stories in DAYS. And to be honest, I haven't gotten to most people's stories in days, but it wasn't their blogs I was thinking about during my Saturday morning "sleep-in time." It was yours. And so I got out of bed, sacrificing all that extra sleep to catch up on your daily ramblings. I'd hate you so much right now if you weren't so damn funny. :-)

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  12. Congratulations! One year and you have done very well. Now gimme the fucking book,

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  13. I can't believe you used such a mundane word as "Blogaversary." You have slipped a couple of cool notches in my book. Unless I win a new book, then you can be queen of the universe again.

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  14. A whole year, eh? Well…it doesn’t seem that long ago when I first stumbled upon your story and sent you a heart-felt message of comfort and hope.
    My…how the worm has turned. Now here you are, a starlet of the blog world and I have been relegated to the backwaters of the Blogoverse and left to struggle with my own Private Pain and Inner Anguish.
    Well…far be it from me to cast aspersions on such a popular young writer.
    As for the book…yeah, I’m not too hip on birds. My ex-wife had a couple of them once but they didn’t last long. Go figure.
    So maybe I do need a copy of this book. After all, the last time I brought a bird home it was in a bucket and its name was Extra Crispy.

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  15. Very cool giveaway and congrats on your blogoversary!

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  16. Me me me! I wanna fuckin win so fuckin bad!

    Fucking fuck fuckety fuck!

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  17. I have a rosie red bottom, but not a book by that name. Can I enter the contest? I'm pretty random, so maybe the randomizer will pick me!

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You.Yeah, you. Speak the fuck up.