CHRIST, YA'LL.
No, seriously. Christ. Have you heard? He's all the motherfucking rage down in Arkansas. Somebody needs to tell the queers here in the Twin Cities before it's too late. Because...CHRIST.
Apparently that is my mission, should I choose to accept it. That's Option A, according to my family.
Option B is to "become Lutheran" like Gray. Because that's what Garrison Keillor would want.
Gray and I literally just rolled (slid) into our driveway (fucking icy! who was in charge of this weather business?) after an exhausting 7 day, 1500 mile round-trip stint At Home with My Mother, et al, where I came ::this:: close to losing my damn mind. From all the Christ.
Did you know that there are those down there in Arkansas who are SO! EXCITED! ABOUT! CHRIST! that they never fucking shut up about him?
Like...it's nothing new, Mom. I'm pretty sure it's a rerun of the SAME ANCIENT STORY we've all been told a few times. Oh, and also? I <3 Jews.
Wow, this is making very little sense, so in that case I suppose it's business as usual around here. And let me just say GOD BLESS THE MAN WHO LEFT A CAFFEINE -FREE COKE HERE AT MY HOUSE because I need a drink. Immediately. God really does answer prayers.
And apparently I should go away more often because I gained, like, 10 followers while I was gone. (By the way, I feel I should warn all of you newbies that Jesus sees you reading this.)
So stay tuned. For posting and shit. Because we're back, and our anuses (annui?) were only marginally violated.
It's like a Christmas miracle.
I just spoke with Jesus for the first time in YEARS and he can't understand what all the fuss is about either!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back...there.
Today I am sending your Mom a link to this blog so she can pray for your soul you damned heathen.
ReplyDeleteThat happened to me too, I got more followers the less I posted. I guess people like me to shut my pie hole.
ReplyDeleteDamn christ. Those people are whack. The bible thumpers make me want to do harm.
Welcome back, yo.
Oh, good, I'm glad Jesus is still watching me read this. Because I'm doing it for HIM.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Cat.
ReplyDeleteSnicker. <3
Hey chick! I just flew down to Texas with my husband and two tiny but loud insane-o children from PA for the Xmas holiday. I ate delicious Texas food but I am more than happy to be home as there wasn't much playtime for us. Just visiting my relatives and sleeping on foreign beds, including an OLD TIMEY COUCH BED that bounces you higher than a professional trampoline would. I loved seeing my Grandmother though, so all that was worth it. And hi...I'm back :)
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