Monday, April 26, 2010

#NotKnot **UPDATED**

This is getting ::kind of:: ridiculous.

Something wacky is up with TheKnot.com 's guest list tool. There appears to be some kind of server error going on with the website.

Brides all over the country (world?) are freaking the hell out because they are unable to print or export their wedding invitation guest list from the website which claims to allow brides to print and export a wedding invitation guest lists. Holy christ, most of us have spent months compiling addresses and phone numbers and everyfuckingpersonI'veevermetinmylifeplusmygrandma'sboyfriend.

Attention robots at TheKnot.com: Shit happens. We get it. You're a free website. We appreciate all of your helpful tips and community boards and the ability to obsess over the minutia of our weddings because YOU SAY SO. Honestly, we understand.

BUT WE ARE BRIDES, yo. We are fucking already psychotic and now THIS?! I don't mean to sound harsh, but I'm pretty sure there are at least a dozen women out there who want to kick your website in the balls, TheKnot.com. Haven't you ever watched Bridezillas? You might want to check that out.

Now that I think about it, you must already know that we're bridezillas because you've chosen to shield yourselves from a barrage of bridal demands. You leave us no way of contacting you to report the guest list problem. You haven't taken the time to respond to all of the frantic brides and their pleas for assistance in the "Help" section. In fact, some of the comments I read last week are now missing from the page. Did you delete them? Are we playing the Hide & Seek game now? Because I am unable to leave a comment on that page and I am displeased. Do you feel my displeasure? You are getting the Nose Thrust of Death at this very moment.

You haven't bothered sending a mass-email to inform your users of the problem. You have not offered any type of explanation, assurance, or even acknowledgement of the guest list server error debacle. Hello *tap tap on the mic* Is this thing on? Can you hear me, TheKnot.com? I NEED TO KNOW WHO CHOSE "PICKLED HERRING" AND WHO CHOSE "SAUERKRAUT HOT DISH", like, yesterday.

I will continue to barrage @theknot with my brave, Twitter protest. And you, faithful readers, help a bride out! Join the campaign! Ask a million questions @theknot on Twitter and tag it with #NotKnot.

Or pass the bacon this way. You know, whatever.

**UPDATED** Well, it seems I'm a fucking hero. I single-handedly pestered @theknot on Twitter so relentlessly to goddamn answer me already that I think they responded just to shut me the fuck up. Fahmida at The Knot was able to give me a temporary solution to the problem. The awesome part about this is that I don't even need to print or export my guest list yet, I was just pissed off on behalf of all the other brides who left panicked questions on The Knot message boards and vented frustration in the "help" section. Yeah, fat lot of "help" that did anyone. Also, I look for excuses to be obnoxious. I'm like motherfucking ROBIN HOOD, ya'll. Except instead of stealing from the rich to give to the poor, I'm acting as a liason between bridezillas and MIA customer service agents, all of whose names appear to be Indian. I'm not sayin, I'm just saying.

Well, I guess we also have the feather in common.