Monday, August 09, 2010

To Be Fair, It Used A Condom

Ok, so do you remember the time you got hit by a Mack truck with that hood ornament that said, "Fuck You," but said it good-naturedly like it was winking at you instead of flipping you off, and then you peeled yourself up off the freeway and were groping around in the ditch, looking for the rest of your brains or, at the very least, your left eyeball, when suddenly you're falling backwards into an hour ago which should mean you weren't really hit by the Mack truck anymore because it didn't happen yet, except somehow both realities existed at the same time and you were both road kill AND just about to be road kill, and then you got out of bed and went to work anyway because you were out of vacation days?

That was BlogHer '10.

I might still be drunk, but at least I didn't break any bones in my tarsal area, although BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU, and yes, it involves broken bones, but at the moment it's all I can do not to put my head down onto this stack of papers on my desk and take a little nappie-nap because New York City took me from behind in the shower and banged me up against the conference faucet until I was covered in bruises and craving pretzel dogs.

Can't wait to share.