Gray and I went to a Chinese restaurant for our one month anniversary last Saturday (although technically our anniversary is TODAY, we waited four Saturdays and then decided we wanted to eat our frozen wedding cake, and the only way to really justify that was to say that Saturday was our anniversary, and therefore today is just the calendar anniversary. The logic of impatient sweet teeth.) Anyway, because we're so broke, we used gift cards to pay for our dinner, which was kind of the point of the gift cards, but still made me feel cheap.
Apparently Jesus agreed, because we got two fortune cookies but only one fortune: Gray's cookie was empty of everything except calories, like someone was saying, "You broke motherfuckers only get ONE and you have to SHARE." Or maybe now that we're married, that's how it goes with everything from herpes to credit card debt to fortune cookies.
In any case, the one fortune we got said, "If you continually give you will continually have." Which is kind of like kicking us when we're down, if you ask me, because clearly we don't have anything to give at the moment (THE RAMEN IS ALL MINE), but that's when I remembered that I have a coupon for a free burger meal at Johnny Rockets, and even though I could go to the Mall of Hysteria and use this coupon for myself, I'd probably better appease the fortune cookie gods and just fucking give it away. So I can have.
Also, the Chinese word on the back of the fortune was "mouth" so it's kind of appropriate. Plus, since BlogHer I've been working on Empowing my Vagina (yes, I said "empow"), and therefore should share my cheeseburger with all of you, right?
Right.
So if you'd like to win this fabulous coupon for Johnny Rockets (single hamburger or any sandwich, American fries and a soda pop), be sure to comment below and LEAVE A CONTACT EMAIL so I can let you know if you win. I'm not sure how long I'll wait to draw names, and I'm not going to give you any rules whatsoever.
Just leave a fucking comment, is that so hard?
:o)
ReplyDeleteperfectchaos0311@yahoo.com
I less then three your blog <3
what the shit, the comment monkey left out the 'fucking comment' part of my comment.
ReplyDelete*outraged*
laurwilk@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI'm a poor grad student. I got a coupon today for a free A&W root beer float off of facebook even. (You can do it too - you just have to 'like' A&W.)
I don't want the burger, but you yelled at me to leave a fucking comment, and when people tell me to fucking do things, I fucking do it unless I don't fucking feel like it at which point I say fuck it.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm giving you a comment so I can have a coupon. That's how it works, right?
ReplyDeleteAnd happy anniversary!
emilyumo@gmail.com
Okay! Here's my fucking comment. Happy anniversary!
ReplyDeleteI believe in the karma potential of giving things away. I had a 20% off coupon at Crate and Barrel. On Saturday we didn't see anything we wanted so as we were leaving I gave the coupon to a woman who was buying wedding gifts. She seemed very surprised and pleased. Now, we'll see if I get that new car that I need. I think that is equal, right?
Hmmmm, I won't be anywhere near a Johnny Rockets for, oh maybe YEARS to come, but I do love freeee. thexstripper@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteyou celebrated a "one month wedding anniversary". And here I was thinking you weren't a mushy romantic. Busted. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm good on the gift card but thanks. Happy anniversary, you crazy kids. Now be a little more patient and wait for your year anniversary to eat the fucking cake. It will be just as stale and freezer burned then.
ReplyDelete