Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Coulda Used the Camera for That One

So we're back from (rainy-ass) California and I have a slew of awesome mediocre photos to show you, but I haven't gotten around to downloading them onto Landers yet. I planned to spend the day Sunday doing laundry and unpacking and moving pictures from camera to hard drive. I slept instead.

Apparently travel is hard on the brain.

Monday and Tuesday after work I raced home and went promptly to sleep again for a few hours before bedtime. Right now I'm wishing I were curled up under my desk and snoring and/or farting happily away, but no such luck. While it's true there's a door I could close, my friends here know me too well to let me get by with office fart naps. At least without filmed documentation, and you know how I always forget to wear panties.

Last night, I sat down to finally transfer pictures onto Landers and my motherfucking camera battery was dead. Stupid thing hasn't been charged in 15 years and suddenly it's all worn out or something. That little battery fucker sleeps ALL THE TIME and he can't be ready for a quick download session. Asshole.

By the time he'd charged enough to use, I was asleep again.

Asleep, that is, until Gray sat bolt upright in bed and bellowed, "Jesus, did he fart?!!"

I thought Gray meant my camera battery and I began to silently tally the un-thought of uses for a farting camera battery. Then Gray, mumbling about stinky dog farts, stumbled around the bed and discovered Bampa sleeping soundly.

Along side his giant pile of shit.

That's right, our dog is deaf AND incontinent.

The best part? Though Gray was gagging and racing around, opening windows...I. SMELLED. NOTHING.