Now I really WILL cut a bitch

Gray and I didn't celebrate Valentine's Day this year because we were broke and also because there are only so many stuffed animals an adult female can pretend to adore before things slide over into the Ridonkulous category.

Two gorillas, an ancient Curious George, a stuffed lobster, a caricature elephant, and a Harley Davidson-clad Build-a-Bear is enough.

On that day this year, I happened to catch a post from Kristine who writes the blog Wait in the Van. She made this kickass card and I stole it, printed it, and gave it to Gray in lieu of actual Valentine's paraphernalia:

Ever since, all our references to awesome things (like vodka, free vodka and bacon) have been replaced by the phrase "magical unicorn." For example, Gray decided to buy a video game last month but WISELY chose to double check with me before the purchase.


Gray's text: Ima get a game if that's okay. It's about $50.

My text: Okay, you BIG NERD.

(later that day) Gray's text: Sorry, it was closer to $80. Hope that's okay.

My text: JESUS CHRIST, did you purchase a magical unicorn or a video game?!

Gray's text: This game is awesome. It's the magical unicorn to gamers everywhere.


For the next several weeks, when I asked what he was up to, he's inevitably say he was playing with his magical unicorn.

As my birthday approached, Gray assured me that my very own magical unicorn was forthcoming. I wasn't sure if  he meant that literally or not because I know that they are real but also VERY hard to find unless you're a member of the Saudi royal family.

Yesterday, my unicorn came out of the gift wrap closet:

 



Unicorns are hard to disguise.

A variation of the strap-on: The uni-horn.

My very first husband-sanctioned sharp object!