Even though your actual birthday is a mystery, it was a year ago today that we brought you home to live with us/the best day EVER. So this is the day we picked to celebrate your birth and spoil you rotten.
Wish we could spend it with you.
We're going to bury you tonight, right in the spot where you always liked to pee. We can tell exactly where that is because there's still a yellow rectangle in the grass, and it's like a flashing beacon that says BAMPA WUZ HERE.
We're going to bury you there and think about you and we're even going to pretend you didn't pee like a girl.
We miss you!