Fucking lazy

Where have I been?

Exactly where I always am, which is either on the toilet or on the couch. If only they could unite the two, my life's dreams would all come true.

I've been reading a lot for class, and by "reading" I mean "looking at picture books and wondering what the fuck is going on because I don't understand how to follow a red scarf through a circus without accompanying text because jesus christ, is that lion eating a woman?" Because reading for kids who are too young to read is, apparently, taxing on my little pea brain.

I promise I'll be here soon, when I have something to write about which does not involve the word "hippo" or "sharing nicely together."

So really, I'll never be back.