Thursday, April 23, 2009

due

today would have been my due date, and so today is kind of a landmark for me, us, and bittersweet because although my cast comes off in one hour and i'll finally be able to go running again and dust my filthy apartment and winter is, like, officially over, i'm also melancholly because our second bedroom is still just a storage room and that dusty co-sleeper down in our parking space is still folded up and forgotten and the only nesting you'll find around here is happening out in the trees.

so this song is for you Gage - we wish you were here

25 comments:

  1. Thinking of you all day. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I had a poster of a kitten on a tree branch that said "Hang in There" I would give it to you, but only if you knew that my real thoughts are with you and I was just trying to make you laugh.

    I don't have that poster though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Big hugs sister. I have had plenty of these exact days. just remember, they come every year. and every time you think, and wish and wonder and mourn.

    take the day off, curl up in a blanket and cry your eyes out, because life is not fair!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thinking of you.
    Sorry for your loss.
    Yay for cast coming off.

    Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If I was there I would buy you a gigantic bottle of vodka for your use to celebrate or mourn. Big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So very sorry. Sending good thoughts and hugs your way.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm really sorry, Cat. I think it's no coincidence that your cast comes off today. I hope you get through this ok...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Perhaps, they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.
    -- Eskimo legend

    I know it's hard but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm sorry, lady. Hope you make it through the day ok.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Get out of the house today, go for that run.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm glad you're marking the day,because it does matter. I'll be thinking about you today. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awww...this post is very short, and VERY sad...Hang in there girl...when your time does come itll be THAT much more special! HUGS!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You made it to this day. A big milestone. I am sending you lots of love today, babe. I hope you take time to be sad/angry/whatever you want to be JUST for you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've been staring at this goddamn comment box for 10 minutes. So I guess I'll just say "hi"

    You're a good mama, I'm sorry Gage isn't here.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow, today crept up way faster than I thought it would. Good thoughts and lotsa love headed your way. (Also, though it pales in comparison to what I'm sure you're going through today, I am very much looking forward to the return of punctuation. Your shift key has missed you dearly, friend.) <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
  16. i wish i had words to help you. thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi Cat,

    Hope you are getting through it OK.

    Best
    IB

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yuck, sorry to hear about the gloomy day. At least you can use that newly released arm to lift your beer to your mouth?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, Cat. Crap. Sorry it's a melancholy day. Sorry Gage isn't with you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Melancholy days teach you something, I think. A new layer of growth. New toughness. Keep your chin up- you'll get there in the end. Keep reminding yourself that you got through the initial plane crash/fire- remember? You broke through and now you're healing. You'll get to where you're supposed to be. But for now, be gentle on yourself and just keep going. You won't forget Gage, don't worry- he'll be with you, helping you grow. xo

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well....given my current circumsatnces and all the uncertainty that life holds...I'm actually crying. I hope you'll be okay. This is a loss that's hard to deal with no matter how you slice it. There's nothing worse than an empty nursery. I fell asleep last night holding Silas' pajamas just so I could imagine that he was with me.
    I know what it's like. I'll be sure to think of you.

    ReplyDelete

You.Yeah, you. Speak the fuck up.