Saturday, November 15, 2008

Duds, Those Who Wish To Sniff Them

Well, there appears to be some kind of bizarre shirt-stealing conspiracy going down in our apartment. Gray has four or five work shirts which are part of a uniform and have our employer's logo stitched on them. They're ugly as hell, but everyone has to wear them (NOT ME! I WEAR JEANS! and sometimes, a bra).

Last week, Gray asked if I had seen any of his shirts. I had not. He said that all but two of them were missing. He'd been wearing the same one for multiple days, and had one more that was too small and missing buttons. We searched high and low for the missing shirts, but to no avail. I did laundry on Sunday (I KNOW! you can hardly believe it) but none of the missing shirts surfaced. Gray checked for them in his work locker, his truck, the floor of his closet...no missing shirts. So he went to work and got a couple new ones.

All of a sudden, two of the missing shirts were just hanging there in his closet, like "Hey, here we are. gotcha! Bet you thought we were on a plane to Aruba by now." WHAT. THE. HELL. I'm pretty sure Gray thinks I was messing with him, hiding them or something, but if he had smelled his own armpits last week, he'd know I played no hand in the creation of that stench. So where did those shirts come from? We have no idea.

Are closet trolls common? I know socks disappear all the time, but those trolls are contained in the dryer. THESE trolls are living in my closet. I wonder if I could convince them to take some of his god damned Metallica t-shirts? I would totally leave them a sock for their trouble.