Friday, December 12, 2008

Guess My Number Is Up

Let me preface this post by telling you all that the air temperature this morning was -1 degrees. Fahrenheit. (I don't do conversions, sorry Canada - you're all smarter than me anyways, so you figure it out.) Now it's warmed up to 5 above, but according to weather.com, it feels like 7 below with the wind chill. ::sigh:: At least things are still looking good for that snow storm on Sunday night. FINGERS CROSSED! There was one winter, maybe three years ago, when we didn't get any snow on the ground until the middle of fucking January. That? SUCKED. It was too cold to snow, which I didn't know was even possible until I moved here. That year, we just had these brilliantly sunny, ball-crushingly cold days, when the sun brightly illuminated all the dead, brown, ugly, dirty lawns and streets. This year, I want to big, soft snow blankets. Thanks.

Last night I felt fine. Last night I didn't even feel particularly tired. But I should have known something was wrong when I woke up this morning and felt like I'd been smashed in the face with a 2x4. Especially considering I hadn't had anything to drink last night. Especially considering I didn't take my requisite Tylenol PM before hitting the sack. I should have known something was going down in China town. But it took me nearly vomiting from my first (last) cigarette of the morning before I realized I was getting sick. Now, just a few hours later, I have acquired the following symptoms:
  • headache
  • achy ears
  • coughing
  • sore throat
  • dizziness (I almost fell over in the hallway about an hour ago)
  • fatigue
  • generally body aches
  • chills

So. I think it's safe to say that I've contracted some form of the Bird Flu, and will be dead by morning. I was nice knowing you all, please feel free to make fun of me in the comment section after I've passed. In lieu of flowers, we request that a donation be made in my name to Schell's Brewing Company, New Ulm, MN.

(Oh, and I'll see some of you in hell. You know who you are.)