Thursday, March 05, 2009

Unbalanced Knot

I realized recently that I'm one of the only grown-up people I know who still ties my shoes with the Double Loop method. I know the mechanics of the Single Loop, and I'm not sure when I made the decision to discard that method, but at one point in my shoe-wearing life, I became a life-long Double Looper. Maybe it's because I have this problem where I want everything to be exactly even.

Like when I eat skittles or M&M's, I have to sort the candy according to color, then I have to "pick off" the pieces who don't have a mate of the same color. If there are three greens, then I eat one of the greens so there are two. I also have to end up with the same number of all color pairs. Two yellow, two green, two red. If there are three red, I have to eat one of the pairs so that there are only two. Like all the others. I'm not sure why I do this. It just looks...orderly.

I made my submission to Haute Dish, and now I must wait until, oh I think they said June, to hear if my essay (and my awesome bio) made the cut. I've also been contemplating some prose contests, but I haven't gotten up the cajones for that yet. Plus, they all cost money.

Speaking of money, I'm basically continuing the Month of No Spending in hopes I can really clean up my divorce debt this year. And the hospital bills. I'm relaxing a few of the rules (for example, I'm going tanning again on Sunday), but will follow the same food plan. Seems to work well.

Which, did you know roasting an 11lb turkey for 2 people = leftovers for all eternity? I'm going to make some turkey wild rice soup tonight. Last night was turkey nachos. We've been eating the shit since Sunday, and I swear it keeps multiplying in the fridge. Every time I open the Tupperware, there's another drumstick. Our mutant bird must have had 43 legs. Maybe it was famous before it moved into our freezer! I'll google it. And thanks to Morphed, every time I taste the turkey, I pretend it's a velociraptor. It's just more delicious that way.

Also in March, I'm doing this thing where I go to the track 4 times a week. Not because I want to. Not because I like it. But because I've got $100 dollars dangling on a stick dated April 1st. That money is ALL MINE to A) buy some clothes or B) get a tattoo if I stick to the 4-times-per-week-minimum running plan. I need new clothes, but I like them so little that I had to add "tattoo" as an option just in case around day five, my bribe wasn't looking so sweet anymore.

By the way, if anyone designs tattoos, let me know. My sister married a tattoo artist last year and I was all pumped about finally having someone to design a tattoo for me. Then they took a cue from my book of What Not To Do Unless You Want To Fuck Yourself, and they got divorced. So....I'm thinking sis wouldn't appreciate my inking her ex's design on my body.

She's so selfish.