I realized recently that I'm one of the only grown-up people I know who still ties my shoes with the Double Loop method. I know the mechanics of the Single Loop, and I'm not sure when I made the decision to discard that method, but at one point in my shoe-wearing life, I became a life-long Double Looper. Maybe it's because I have this problem where I want everything to be exactly even.
Like when I eat skittles or M&M's, I have to sort the candy according to color, then I have to "pick off" the pieces who don't have a mate of the same color. If there are three greens, then I eat one of the greens so there are two. I also have to end up with the same number of all color pairs. Two yellow, two green, two red. If there are three red, I have to eat one of the pairs so that there are only two. Like all the others. I'm not sure why I do this. It just looks...orderly.
I made my submission to Haute Dish, and now I must wait until, oh I think they said June, to hear if my essay (and my awesome bio) made the cut. I've also been contemplating some prose contests, but I haven't gotten up the cajones for that yet. Plus, they all cost money.
Speaking of money, I'm basically continuing the Month of No Spending in hopes I can really clean up my divorce debt this year. And the hospital bills. I'm relaxing a few of the rules (for example, I'm going tanning again on Sunday), but will follow the same food plan. Seems to work well.
Which, did you know roasting an 11lb turkey for 2 people = leftovers for all eternity? I'm going to make some turkey wild rice soup tonight. Last night was turkey nachos. We've been eating the shit since Sunday, and I swear it keeps multiplying in the fridge. Every time I open the Tupperware, there's another drumstick. Our mutant bird must have had 43 legs. Maybe it was famous before it moved into our freezer! I'll google it. And thanks to Morphed, every time I taste the turkey, I pretend it's a velociraptor. It's just more delicious that way.
Also in March, I'm doing this thing where I go to the track 4 times a week. Not because I want to. Not because I like it. But because I've got $100 dollars dangling on a stick dated April 1st. That money is ALL MINE to A) buy some clothes or B) get a tattoo if I stick to the 4-times-per-week-minimum running plan. I need new clothes, but I like them so little that I had to add "tattoo" as an option just in case around day five, my bribe wasn't looking so sweet anymore.By the way, if anyone designs tattoos, let me know. My sister married a tattoo artist last year and I was all pumped about finally having someone to design a tattoo for me. Then they took a cue from my book of What Not To Do Unless You Want To Fuck Yourself, and they got divorced. So....I'm thinking sis wouldn't appreciate my inking her ex's design on my body.
She's so selfish.
I pick shoes with a bungee cord tie thing, so there are no loops to be made. I suppose that makes me a cheater, but I just prefer not to have to even contemplate knots. I never was allowed to be a Girl Scout so it brings up bad memories.
ReplyDeleteDesign your own tatto, at least the basis. A good tatoo artist can take it from your original drawign and work from there.
Or just don't tell your sister where you got the design :o)
Whew...I am an even comment. Good luck to the next person- hope they realize they are at the mercy of your 'pick offs!' lol...hope too that no one beats me to posting and number three is ...ouch, me! :o)
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to be #3 as long as there's a #4! See, I get it.
ReplyDeleteYeah I try to get slide on shoes too, not because I have knot tying issues, but because I don't like to bend over to tie up laces...:)
ReplyDeleteTurkey Nachos eh? hmmmm I may need to make Nachos tonight.....
Looks like you have a lot to keep you busy right now... That is a good thing! I don' tknow if I could eat That much turkey... all the time... I would so damn tired!
ReplyDeleteI'm a candy sorter too and also cereal. I eat all the bad stuff first and save the best for last. That turkey is asexual and it's doing itself in your fridge and making turkey babies. Gross.
ReplyDeleteI still double loop. Never learned the other way. Whatever, lets just say everyone else are freaks.
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing with candy.
ReplyDeleteI think that much turkey would turn me INTO a turkey.
I do the exact same thing with M&Ms and Skittles. I've never confessed because I thought it made me weird.
ReplyDeleteOK, maybe we're both weird.
The double-knot thing? My 11-yo stepson doesn't know HOW to tie his shoes because he's only ever had velcro and zipper closures. I swear to god he'll have to live at home his whole life so his mom can tie his dress shoes.
Skittles and M&M's, exact same thing. After evening the amounts, I then pick them off by color, least to most desired. I do the same thing with my meals. Least favorite thing first, ending with the best thing on the plate.
ReplyDeleteDouble knot? I just tie them once and then slip them on and off. :-)
I think they have groups for your varied problems.....
ReplyDeleteDude, just eat the fucking M&M's. :)
Good for you doing the exercise thing, it'll probably help. And the tanning probably will too. I know it's not good for your skin, but there were few things I found more comforting in the dead of winter than lying in that delicious, delicious heat, just feeling warmed to my bones. Plus, you look all golden and gorgeous too.
ReplyDeleteI double knot my shoes - sort my candy by color, with the same number (even number by the way) of each color.. I even sort out animal crackers in pairs. You know, in case the ark shows up.
ReplyDeleteYour sister is selfish. Hey she was miserable sure but she couldn't wait another year or two? hell, I waited 14 before I got out and he didn't even do anything that would have benefited anyone
ReplyDeleteToo bad you don't live near Chicago. The Tattoo Factory kicks serious ass.
ReplyDelete