Wednesday, April 15, 2009

shouldn't the teleporter be INVENTED by now?

we went and saw observe and report last night, and afterwards i had nightmares about lip plumper and sweat pants. there are no words to describe this movie, unless you consider gray's comment as we left the theatre: "thanks for coming to see a totally average movie with me babe." what the fuck is up with all the vomit in movies these days? i mean, i appreciate the equal time they're giving to full-frontal male nudity (so long as i'm asking for shit, could we have less hairy beer gut action and more of that guy from sex & the city please?), but seriously. why the fuck must every flick feature gratuitous up-chuck-age?

oh, i know - it's because the same 5 guys make all the movies now, and those guys apparently thing regurgitation is the new anal sex.

my sister texted late last night to let us know and she (and our baby niece)((WHO IS NOW SINGING THE ALPHABET OMG HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS YET?)) can't make the drive up from arkansas tomorrow, and after the devastating loss of my vacation last weekend, i took the news of their cancelled trip harder than i probably should have considering her track record of following through with shit she says she'll do, like "show up" or "call you". to be fair, she's a broke single mom with car trouble and tires that decided to blow all at the same time. either that or she's lying because she spent all her travel money on porn and vodka (yes, it's genetic), and in either case, i totally understand.
isn't she freaking ADORABLE?
but i'm still totally heartbroken because knowing my girls were coming to visit was basically what got me through the disappointment of last weekend, and now gray's talking about us going to arkansas to visit since she can't come up here (might as well kick me while i'm down, hun)((i'd really rather not do that if at all possible)). we were just there in november and that trip, great though it was, was enough to last at least another six months for me. plus, he used all his vacation time on the death virus from hell.

at this rate, i'll show up next week to have my cast taken off and the bone doc will take one look at mummy hand and sentence me to another 3 months in my fiberglass prison. because actually getting to do something i'm really looking forward to is just not going to happen.

either that or i'll die in a car wreck, it's really a toss up at this point.