Friday, May 15, 2009

I've Also Just Been Appointed Queen of Sheba

So yesterday was my 200th post, which I'd been delaying for almost a week by following a strict schedule of Not Posting and Not Thinking About Posting and Ignoring Everyone Else's Posts because they make me feel guilty for not posting and also Reading Twilight (don't even get me started on how that happened).

I wanted to come up with something for this blogging milestone that was both MAGICAL and HORRIFYING (exactly like Disneyland)((except my characters are all doing lines of coke and humping each other)) but the best I could come up with was another Countdown List, which is boring as fuck and not at all conducive to my spring-induced attention deficit disorder. I'd get to #17 and then I'd see someone on TV wearing a bolo, and I'd be all, "Hey, are those back in style? Because I saw one on My Boys this week. Which reminds me, did I set the DVR to record the new season of Jon & Kate Plus 8? And then I'd be googling this video, crying over the impending divorce of two psychotic (but loveable) strangers, and making a double vodka cranberry for myself. At 8:30 a.m.

Then I remembered I'm very close to unveiling a kick-ass new look here at Zipbag of Bones, that I'm just waiting for my sexy, nameless, secret graphic artist to "finish" tinkering with some designs and give me the green light to use them here (the last time I counted, she was working on SEVENTY NINE different, but equally sponge-worthy versions of my header)((I've met my match in OCD Land)), and at that time I also have a naughty product review in the works to kick off the new look, and I decided that THIS was the perfect thing for my 200th post!

So I waited to get the green light on my new designs, but then my sexy, nameless, secret graphic artist flitted off to Europe and didn't invite me to go with her, NOR did she promise to bring me back foreign wine - stingy whore - so I realized I'd have to come up with some other awesome idea in the meantime.

Then my Jill's birthday was upon us, and it was too late to write a separate Blogging Milestone Extravaganza post, but I really wanted to put up a birthday tribute, so I was just like, "Fuck it. Nobody cares it's my 200th post but me, and I'll just jack off before bed to make it up to myself."

So. Here we are today. And I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Yay me."

But also, go here if you want to check out my contribution to my university's art's and literature publication (the publication is called Haute Dish. Like "Hot Dish". How fucking midwest chic is that?) My non-fiction piece Eleven's End is under the "Prose" tab, and my bio (thanks for helping me write it!) is on page 1. of the "Bios" section.

Double "Yay me."