Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Under Construction

We're almost finished moving.

Did I mention there are boxes everyfuckingwhere? This can be a problem for OCD freaks like me. Boxes on top of boxes, next to other boxes, all full of shit you have to PUT SOMEWHERE, and the pressure of knowing where to put things, things that you just figured out where to put in your old apartment, things that no longer fit the same way because the closets are longer and the shelves are taller and storage is located on entirely different floors of the house now and FUCK! Where do I keep the spare toilet paper!?

It's like a life-sized game of Tetris, except I can't just shut it off when I'm tired of playing. Instead, I lay in bed listening to the different night noises of the new house, and I continue to play mental Tetris with regards to the spoons in the second kitchen drawer and try to decide if my socks should go in a drawer or on a hangy shelf thing because the drawers are prime real estate, and I should really use things that close to house my knife collection.

I tried the whole "one box at a time" method, but inevitably there's this one thing in the box that can't be put away until I find this one other thing in another box, and by the time I find that second box and dig through it to find the needed accoutrement, I've forgotten what I was doing in the first place, but I noticed that the floor board needs to be wiped off, and OH DEAR GOD did you see the spider nest located INSIDE the cover of a book of canvas paper? And then I realize it's 1:30 in the morning and I still have to make fudge.

So yeah, we're under construction.

Not to mention I am without computer access at home for the moment until we mount the giant task of Figuring Technological Shit Out (you would think that the Satellite DVR situation is matter of national security), so I'm going to stop posting for a few days because I'm tired and sore and the number of cardboard paper cuts on my arms are uncountable and I have nothing to say except WAH WAH WAH, and oh yeah, Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Also we fucking LOVE the new place.

FYI: There are also BIG CHANGES! taking place here at Zipbag of Bones, and what goes better with big changes than big orgasms? That's right, all of that coming up in the next week, so stay tuned because YOU. DON'T. WANT. TO. MISS. THIS.*

*Unless you don't like orgasms, in which case: Stop reading my blog, Jesus.

14 comments:

  1. Who doesn't like orgasms?!!?!

    Now, moving, on the other hand, I could do without. I hate moving OUT. But I absolutely love moving -IN.. getting everything sorted all perfectly and making new homes for stuff and decorating a brand-new space. All fun.

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  2. I'm so excited I just peed a little.

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  3. Please warn me when that post is due to be published.
    I may know about broken bits and know the exact diameter of your areloa's but I'll be damned if I want to know about your orgasms. I mean at one time you having one fascinated me but that got old and now I just don't want to know.

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  4. Are you speaking directly to Jesus there at the end?

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  5. So, I guess a last minute guest post request is out of the question, huh?

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  6. I happen to enjoy the fuck out of orgasms!

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  7. About to do the same thing.. Not looking forward to schlepping crap from one place to the next.. Well, it might depend on where the 'next' is!?!?! :):)

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  8. Hope you get it worked out but have some new kick ass sex and a few orgasms while you are at it!

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  9. Orgasms!! I'm so excited that I just peed a lot!!

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  10. What's wrong with orgasms? I love playing Tetris. I play it when I bag my own groceries and get pissed when the baggers take over. Here's hoping you get unpacked soon.

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  11. My summer project is to unpack all our boxes as well. SO MUCH WORK!

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  12. Moving is TOTALLY a game of Tetris! That's the best description EVER! Seriously, we're now keeping the spare toilet paper AND the spices in the pantry, which is just weird because toilet paper should go in a spare closet (which we don't have enough of) and spices should go in a kitchen cabinet (which we don't have enough of). It took me three hours to figure out where to put our coffee cups, and I was *this close* to saying nevermind and just throwing them all away. Sigh.

    I'm so happy for you!

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You.Yeah, you. Speak the fuck up.