Thursday, September 03, 2009

Did They Run From Their Own Mortality or Was It the Skidmark?

So with the publishing of my last post, I've unwittingly shoved two of my legion right over the edge of the Interweb into the dreaded vortex known as Pushing The Unfollow Button, an action which I'm told leads to herpes and cankles, so TAKE THAT you two. Once I've alienated the rest of you, my work here will be complete.

I wanted to remind all of you brave (morally corrupt) remaining (people who skip over me in their Reader) souls (pretend you're not dead inside) that you still have one day to enter my giveaway. And it's not even a used vibrator I'm giving away this time. It's an autographed, first edition copy of my aunt's book Rosie Red Bottom.

So, yeah. I started classes again last week, and I've been trying to think of the best way to describe my thoughts about this new semester so far, which is kind of hard because how do you begin to convey the effect that Sonnet 19 has upon your understanding of the definition of human sexuality?

Or your interpretation of the oral traditions of the pre-literate, pagan Germanic raiding tribes in which women were passed around like some kind of peace pipe?

Or your astonishment to learn that there are only four Anglo-Saxon manuscripts upon which we've base our entire English literary tradition for the last 1,000 years and how one of them almost burned in a fire in the 18th century and therefore would have been lost forever?

YOU DON'T begin to explain those things, mostly because nobody gives a fuck, you giant nerd. So let me put it to you this way:

My Shakespeare professor said "gay porn" on our first night of class*. THAT'S how awesome my classes are this semester.**

*What he actually said was "Cape Horn", but it took me about 20 beats to realize he wasn't comparing 16th century Atlantic seafarer's contributions to the emerging literary climate during the Renaissance...to Chicks with Dicks. Seriously, say it aloud to yourself. You'll understand my confusion.

**In other words, it's the first time I've ever truly been excited about what I am learning. It's THAT good.