Thursday, July 21, 2011

Look out, San Diego. I will be farting there for at LEAST three days. Depending on whether or not I lose my plane tickets.

I am happy to report that I'm leaving in a couple weeks for BlogHer '11. You dont even know how exciting this is for me. Because.

Oh lord.

Just look at what last year was like:


Someone I don't remember, Ultra Hungover Me, and Kristine from Wait in the Van, and contributor to at least four other online publications. I am so excited to be rooming with Krristine this year in San Diego, although she has kids AND a better body than me, so I will be force-feeding her burritos and churros before we head to the beach.

This is how we spent our spare time: drunkenly perusing the streets of NYC and taking photos with strangers. Or sitting on their laps. Or having them buy us drinks. Or petting their dogs. Or handing them our business cards. Or, in Susan's case, phone-sexing their co-workers.

From the left, Random Gay Dude #1, Incredibly Drunk and Friendly Me, Random Gay Dude #2, Susan Mercedes from a blog she no longer even PRETENDS to write, but also of the Incredible Honkers Club, Random (think so) Straight Guy #1, and Summer from Blogfully Yours. The three physically female ladies in this photo were roommates last year and instant BFFs, and I now have a standing invitation to visit Utah. Not until they fix the Alc by Vol shortage, ladies. Not until then. 

The view from our hotel, aka Fucking Heaven.

Speakers on the Humor Panel: Lizz Winstead, co creator of for The Daily show and  actress/comedian Jessica Bern from Bernthis.com, also a dear friend and one of my favorite Jews on earth. She's good, funny people.

During this panel, I was so hungover that I had to keep getting up (from the front row) to speed-walk to a bathroom. To puke. With a chick wearing a superwoman costume in the room. That right there is what BlogHer is all about. Well, that plus vagina jokes.

I don't quite have it in me to "empower" my vagina, so the artist went with "empowing." Makes a lot of sense, if you ask me.

Me and my favorite Jew again, Jessica Bern.

This was a panel in which they spoke about the fine line between telling the straight truth and telling an interesting story, as well as deciding where to draw the line between ROFL and TMI.

Clearly, I didn't learn a fucking thing.

And I'm a terrible person because from left are Woman I Don't Remember #1 But I'm Pretty Sure is One of the Co Creators of BlogHer, Woman I Don't Remember #2, and my motherfucking hero incarnate: Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. Jenny is the most deranged - and therefore lovable - person I've ever read, and her blog is sick and wrong and funny as shit. I want to unzip her skin and wear it like a cloak.

I may or may not have licked the entire side of her face last year, chin to temple. It may or may not have been awesome. She may or may not have a bodyguard this year.
 
Me and Susan and Summer, partying at Sparklecorn on Summer's 30th birthday...just before shit hit the fan.

This was me at CheeseburgHer. Best party of the weekend, if you ask me.

Me, decorating a dildo with googly eyes and glitter at the EdenFantasys party. At the next table was a jewelry-making station. Using condoms.

These people really *get* me.
***

This year, I'm shacking up with some new friends, and I'll be sure to write much more about them soon - especially about how they're already obsessively emailing photos of their planned outfits for the weekend - and how I'm like, "Um...I don't remember pants being a requirement."