I would post a TMI warning, except if you're here at all, you already know.

Well now. Remember waaaaaaaaay back in June when we were hot in the middle of Operation: Baby? And I posted that although I wasn't pregnant, I also wasn't experiencing anything even remotely resembling a period?

Yeah. Well it's arrived. THREE FUCKING MONTHS LATER.

Seriously, three months (almost to the day) since my last period. Since then, we've put Operation: Baby on hold and I've gone back on the pill because I have some personal shit I need to address (via Dr. Crazy Palms, who is still kicking my ass and taking my name every session) before I feel like I'm really ready to successfully damage my own children the way I've been damaged.

For most of my life, when I'm on the pill, I "suppress" my period, meaning I skip the week of placebo pills and just go straight back to the hormone pills, which means I usually only have one or two periods in a year, which means I WIN!

Except now that I'm suppressing again after MONTHS OF NO UTERINE ACTION AT ALL ANYWAY, of course this is when the fucking shittiest part about being a woman decides to come and fuck with my life.

Welcome back tampons, you have not even been a little bit missed.

Feel like a fuckin bottle of wine, stuffed with a cork, laying sideways in the fridge, dripping all over the place anyway.