Saturday, January 14, 2012

I still don't understand how the Internet works

Every once in a while, I get curious about visitors to Zippy. What kind of freaks are you? Fortunately, there's a way to find out.

These are my Google Analytics scores going back to the beginning of this blog:

17,099 unique page views

2 mins 52 seconds average time on site
77.03% bounce rate

At first, it seems like a lot of page views, but then I look at the Content stats, which show that I've drawn lots of readers who had no interest in my blog, so they left right away.

The same is true when I check out the keyword search terms, because I'm pretty sure the guy who came to Zipbagofbones by googling, "Labia weights" didn't intend to find this post.

Naturally, I like to try to imagine which of my content pages got pegged by Google search to pull up a result which led a stranger to my blog. Labia was an easy guess, but what about "activia and anal fissures"? What about "how to break my arm"?


So now, we're going to play Let's Match That Google Search Keyword To A Post From This Blog!

To start us off, please welcome My Most Common Google Search Term:
  • i want 18 (and other variations like iwant18, iwant 18, 1, et. al.)
Variations of "i want 18" has been my number one search traffic generator for as long as I've had access to a computer. Which, if you read the post that started it all, makes you realize exactly how long and how often I irritate horny teenage-lovers everywhere. Awesome.

Here are some others. I literally searched these terms in my blog dashboard, and I had exact matches for all of these. I really should pay more attention to what I'm saying...
As I discovered last time, clearly, I am NOT what you people are looking for. And that makes me feel complete inside.